Puttering

Summer break seems to whiz by!  I haven't been too busy, but I did have a busy weekend (2 weekends ago... I am slow at posting these days, apologies) My mother in law and I drove to Swift Current, Saskatchewan for no other reason than to surprise her friend at the Farmers' Market. I did fairly well with the driving and sitting, mostly because I have to stop at almost every gas station to pee.... Yeah, I have to restrict liquid intake on driving days. We stopped in Moose Jaw and found a cute little shop and had lunch. We had a great time. I'm glad to have my mother in law as a friend. 

The other awesome thing about last weekend, was my sister, the one who lives in Calgary, decided to make the 4.5 hour drive with her 21 month old to come visit. That was fun. It was great to see her and spoil my nephew for a day! That kid is cute. For some reason, little kids seem to love playing with my cane...

He is adorable!

I have taken a few days to catch up on sleep and putter around the house. That's what I officially call it.  Putter.  Hubby had the awesome advice of making a list of I want/need to do.  Then I am supposed to start a timer and work for 10 minutes, then sit for 10.  It seems weird at first but it seems to help. I got frustrated with myself Monday evening. I want to get my gardening and weeding done all at once, but I can't.  The pain starts and the frustration sets in, then I have to sit. I hate asking for help because gardening is one of my escape activities and asking for help means it isn't me doing it... 

So puttering it is, with many breaks.  I know it won't all get done, but I will get something done.  I hope! 

This week I attended two pre surgery classes.  One on nutrition and exercise, the other on pain management.  They were well done, but I don't know that I need another copy of the Canada Food Guide more than I need someone to slap food out of my hand....  I am the youngest person in thes classes by about 20 years. They all look surprised to see me there. 

Learning to pace myself and feels like I'm getting shit done seems to be the key right now. I'm working on it though.

Realizing My Limits....They Won't be Limits for Long!

This morning I ventured out all on my own! I went to Costco and to Superstore....Guess what?  That was too much for me.  I could tell near the end of Costco that I was pushing my limits but I kept going because I wanted to do shit on my own. Turns out pushing grocery carts is hard on my hip, increases my pain, and makes me want to nap. It gets so dam frustrating not being able to do the things I used to, or want to do on my own.  For instance, gardening. I needed the boys to get my garden in shape to plant and to roto till... Even last summer I was able to do all that by myself. This summer I need extra pain killers and a nap after grocery shopping. I'm glad my garden got planted. I am very lucky and thankful to have the boys here to help. 

I feel bad about needing so much assistance and feel guilty asking them to do the extras.  I know feeling bad and the guilt does nothing to help me, or to help my boys. It gets nothing done. I just like to do things on my own. I take comfort knowing that I won't need this much help for a very long time. Surgery is the best option for me as it will correct the pain and mobility issues I am having and getting me moving for years to come.

The Boys are awesome. They even help put socks on my feet! (I know there are contraptions out there that I can use, but like I said, this is temporary) There are days getting dressed feels like a chore.  If I haven't slept well or I tossed and turned because I couldn't get comfortable enough, I ache lots in the morning. Wearing summer dresses actually helps because I just slip it over my head. Flip flops aren't the most sturdy shoe, but I can put those on all by myself. These days it is about making things easier and less frustrating, for the entire family. 

That's one Monday said and done.  Let's see if I can pace myself better the rest of the week...

Just Keep Moving

One of the problems with being in pain and having limited mobility is that exercising sucks. It completely sucks. Being in pain all the time is not only tiring, it is exhausting. Exercising can add to the pain and exhaustion. On days where you think you are having a relatively pain free day, you get cocky and blow it by doing too much. (The doctors tell me that if an activity increases my pain for more than 2 hours, it is too much!) Finding that happy medium is difficult. Now that I am on holidays, I am hoping it will be easier to find that happy medium.

The last few weeks at work were absolutely draining. I was sleeping on the staff room couch during my breaks and having no trouble falling asleep. Makes me very glad that I will be starting my sick leave promptly after summer break. I have enough sick time saved up to start sick leave on the first day of school in September and take until the beginning of March. Wow! Happy day! Hallelujah! I truly believe this will help me focus on preparing for surgery, focusing on me, and getting healthy (and moving).

Today I went swimming for the first time in ages! Sometimes all you need is the feeling that you have the time to do these sorts of things. When I'm working, I would have to swim in the evening, when the pools are super busy with swim lessons and full of people. I want a quiet pool.  I need a pool with stairs which means I would be swimming in the shallow end.  The shallow end is usually full of children splashing around. This afternoon, the pool was quiet. I was the only one in the shallow end. It was glorious. I walked out of the change room with my cane, laid my things by the stairs and made my way carefully into the water. Then I made my way carefully back out of the water to put my glasses on my towel.... Oops...  

I swam for about 20 minutes, not continuously mind you.  Some flutter kick only, some front crawl, some back crawl.  I must admit I was frustrated. My left leg is so much weaker than my right I am suprised I wasn't swimming in circles.  Every now and then my former lifeguard skills would kick in and I would attempt a whip kick.. Holy shit, was that ever a bad idea.  OUCH!!!!!!

I do think it was a good start. When I am in the water, my pain is very minimal. I plan to start slowly. I pushed my luck today because I also saw my athletic therapist. Seeing the AT means more exercises, stretches, and some deep tissue massage. 

Lucky for me, dinner was waiting for me when I got home, as was the hot tub.  I have a sneaky suspicion I will sleep well tonight.