Monday, July 6, 2015

Realizing My Limits....They Won't be Limits for Long!

This morning I ventured out all on my own! I went to Costco and to Superstore....Guess what?  That was too much for me.  I could tell near the end of Costco that I was pushing my limits but I kept going because I wanted to do shit on my own. Turns out pushing grocery carts is hard on my hip, increases my pain, and makes me want to nap. It gets so dam frustrating not being able to do the things I used to, or want to do on my own.  For instance, gardening. I needed the boys to get my garden in shape to plant and to roto till... Even last summer I was able to do all that by myself. This summer I need extra pain killers and a nap after grocery shopping. I'm glad my garden got planted. I am very lucky and thankful to have the boys here to help. 
I feel bad about needing so much assistance and feel guilty asking them to do the extras.  I know feeling bad and the guilt does nothing to help me, or to help my boys. It gets nothing done. I just like to do things on my own. I take comfort knowing that I won't need this much help for a very long time. Surgery is the best option for me as it will correct the pain and mobility issues I am having and getting me moving for years to come.

The Boys are awesome. They even help put socks on my feet! (I know there are contraptions out there that I can use, but like I said, this is temporary) There are days getting dressed feels like a chore.  If I haven't slept well or I tossed and turned because I couldn't get comfortable enough, I ache lots in the morning. Wearing summer dresses actually helps because I just slip it over my head. Flip flops aren't the most sturdy shoe, but I can put those on all by myself. These days it is about making things easier and less frustrating, for the entire family. 

That's one Monday said and done.  Let's see if I can pace myself better the rest of the week...


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